Without further ado.. (and with spelling and grammar corrections - shouldn't type with a fussy baby in your arms).
As soon as I had been admitted I informed the nurses that I wanted an epidural as soon as super humanly possible (NOW!!). So they had started the process. Which means they needed to get an IV line and a vial of blood for lab work. Try 1: they hit a valve in the vein - but could get the vial of blood they needed. Try 2: hit a valve. Try 3: different nurse - too shallow of veins, Try 4: different nurse - hit a valve. I have gorgeous veins - if I do say so myself, but for some reason they were have trouble that morning.
This is the point where the Dr. tells me I am at a 9. My worst fears are becoming a reality. True, I have been swayed to consider natural child birth due in large to the enormous sharing of stories on the web and people describing it as a very spiritual experience. Thanks to friends and family who think like I do for talking me through it (We live in the age of modern medicine and I doubt that most of the women before would have opted out of using the resources available to them - but that is a debate for another time). By now the contractions are very intense and I didn't want to play anymore, that is why I asked for the epidural as I was walking through the doors. I didn't want to do it, I didn't know if I could do it.
The Dr. tells me we have 2 options at this point. 1: Have this baby in an half hour, or 2: wait an hour for the labs so I can have my epidural. This is not a decision I want to make, I want the Dr. to just tell me what we are going to do or Jason. At the very least, I needed Jason to tell me I could do it. I probably hummed and hawed over this for what felt like 5 plus minutes and 2 or more contractions. I decided: lets do the half hour option, the hour option didn't have any guarantees that the baby would wait that long and it meant that I wouold have to endure contractions for that much longer.
So we started pushing. The Dr. tried breaking my water, but thought it must have already broke. When? I did discover that pushing during a contraction makes the pain go away, not completely. The Dr. and nurses where so great. They were bossy and kind all at the same time. The Dr. at one point told me 3 more pushes and she would be here - well that came and went and so did that half hour.
Finally the Dr. informed me that she was sunny side up. I was devastated. Grahm was sunny side up (they thought he would be born before midnight and we didn't manage that one until after 8 the next morning). I could not do that again. The Dr. recognized the fact that I would not let him try and turn her, I was too uncomfortable. So he offered to get me the anesthesiologist if I wanted. At this point that is what I wanted.
The Dr. did the IV and was able to get it, thank goodness. I was not sure I could handle several more tries. Then every one left except Jason. Mentally I had given up and was having a hard time coping with the contractions again. Well, I had nothing to do when they came. So I started barely pushing when a contraction came to ease the pain a little. For almost all of the delivery I had my eyes closed, so I am not sure of the time line or how long some things actually took. Most of it felt like forever. At one point I sent Jason out to find the anesthesiologist. He describes it - that he went whimpering out with his tail between his legs and came whimpering back in. She was here.
They had decided to do a spinal block. They had me sit up, but then had to have me lay back down because the baby was not doing well. After the spinal block was done I believe the Dr. turned her. The spinal block is not as amazing as an epidural, but it was so helpful in easing the pain. The Dr. announces after the spinal block that we have an hour and an half to get the baby here before the block wears off (okay, I am a little concerned Grahm was so slow). We start doing some good pushing again, the Dr. tells the nurse to get the forceps (I half sigh in relief - help!). A few minutes later a neonatalogist comes in (so glad they didn't tell me they were calling him in), but the Dr. tells him that the baby is doing much better and he isn't going to have to use the forceps. She is finally here at 7:20am.
I was overwhelmed with so many feelings. The main feeling at her arrival was relief, that the pain was finally over with. Also very happy and excited to meet this little angel. It was a very emotional experience. I was worried about loosing control, about screaming, doing something embarrassing. I remember praying for help and my prayer was answered.
Some of the funny things that I did or happened during deliver or myths. Delivery can not be a quiet thing - its like lifting weights or when a tennis player makes a loud noise every time they hit the ball. It is not screaming (well maybe some women do), but you make noise with the effort of having the baby. At one point I said I wanted to cuss, then a few contractions later I managed a quiet "Hales Bells" (made Jason smile). If the Dr. tried to check on the baby or me during a contraction I refused to push because the pain would not subside with pushing it would get worse. The same with my leg position, if they had my legs in some crazy contortionist position (like behind my head - exaggerating) I would refuse to push with a violent shake of my head, again the pain would get worse with pushing. After awhile I could only use one arm on the pull bars because the other arm was so bruised from the attempted IV pokes. The nurse had to tell me to help Jason fill out the form for my spinal block because when Jason asked me how tall I was (I was irritated that he was asking me). I realize now that wearing makeup into delivery is worthless, I labored it all off - every bit of it.
Recovery was fairly "smooth". Maybe better than an epidural recovery. The IV trouble translates into black and blue bruises all over my arms. Pulling on the pull bars meant my arms and back were very sore.
Jason said he felt for me until I was still asking if this was our last baby of if we could have one more!